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1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key"
to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where
the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to
be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man
complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files
from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat
failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had
labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter to type the
labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her
defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the
customer along with photocopies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech
to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap
and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the
keys and washing them individually.
8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command"
and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find printer". The user had also tried turning the computer
screen to face the printer - but that his computer still couldn't "see"
the printer.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer
was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she
pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on
this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to
be the computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the
unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something
to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the
power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to
mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too
hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
13. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang
for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in
the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't
realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
14. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions
for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from
it's cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed
the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
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