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A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport
hall waiting for their flight to go. The non-mathematician has terrible
flight panic.
"Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes."
"1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!"
"Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much
more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane
than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared."
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1-3, alpha = .05
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would
always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight
over it , then slow down again once he'd got over it. One day, he took
a passenger, who was understandably unnerved by his driving style,
and asked him why he went so fast over junctions. The statistics
student replied, "Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to
have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less
time there."
"The reason that every major university maintains a department of
mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all
those people."
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