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| Statistics Jokes A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non-mathematician has terrible flight panic. "Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes." "1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!" "Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared." Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1-3, alpha = .05 There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow down again once he'd got over it. One day, he took a passenger, who was understandably unnerved by his driving style, and asked him why he went so fast over junctions. The statistics student replied, "Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less time there." "The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people." Back to Jokes Home |