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| The Spam Files |
| The E-Mail We Received It is with heart full of hope and gods wish that I write to seek your help in the context below. I am Mr. Claudio Kabila, the second son of the late Laurent Kabila Former President of the Democratic Republic of Congo (D.R.C) whose sudden death occurred in January 2001. Having gotten your particulars from my late father's library, I have no doubt to your capacity and goodwill to assist me in receiving into your custody (for safety) the sum of US$37 million willed and deposited in the favor of myself and my mother who is the second wife of the late president. This money is currently kept in a trust deposit vault with a Finance and Security company here in (DUBAI) However, the new Government headed by my step brother Joseph has on assumption of office setup an inquiry to recover all the assets belonging to my late dad including cash and properties with the pretence of safe-keeping, but with actual intention of personal inheritance. All this because we are from a polygamous family. The investigation team has submitted their report, presently some cash and assets have been seized. Fortunately, I managed to escape from the country,and with the help of our lawyer, I am presently living as a refugee here until I succeed in the transaction and due to the situation of things our lawyer has strictly advised that the willed money be urgently moved into an over-seas account of a trusted Foreign family friend without delay for security reasons. I expect you to be trustworthy and kind enough to respond to this call (SOS) to save my entire family and me from a hopeless future. I hereby agree to compensate your sincere effort in this regard with 20% of the fund, when finally received in your local Bank account. The attorney here has perfected arrangements with the Bankers to effect complete dislodgment of this money within a week of the receipt of your response through telephone and fax. They have equally guaranteed 100% risk free and smooth transfer. reply me via e-mail: removed Best Wishes Mr. Claudio Kabila , I look forward to your quick response. May God bless you for your kindness. |
| What happened to Josie Jump? Read The Buki Akib Conspiracy Theory here. "Mind-blowing" American Journal of Alien Abduction (incorporating Crazies Weekly) "Presidents have toppled for less" Crazy Conspiracies Monthly |
| Our Reply Dear Claudio, This is an absolute outrage. I only wish it hadn't taken seven years for you to find us. No, forget about the money. Put your cheque book away. We're only interested in helping restore justice to the DRC. You see in 1972, we were a crack commando unit that was sent to prison by a military court for a crime we didn't commit. We promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, we're still wanted by the government, but we survive as soldiers of fortune. We'll need to find a plane, and drug the big guy again ("I ain't getting on no plane, sukka"), but give us a week and we'll be fighting by your side to restore law and order. In the past we've beaten the entire US Military with nothing more than a Mini Cooper and a couple of potato peelers, so this should be a cinch. We look forward to being able to call you Mr President. Best wishes Hannibal and the crew |